I will start by saying that I believe, above most everything else, in the power of choosing ones own happiness. I learned this lesson in a rather annoying way in my teens but I took it to heart when I could look at the lesson and who gave it to me in a removed and thoughtful way instead of my immediate way which was saying "Whatever, you insensitive and moronic twat!" in my head while just staring blankly.
I woke up today in a dreadful mood after having gone to bed the night before exhausted, running on fumes, crying over things that seem small today and generally being rather pathetic, angry and downright miserable in my own skin. Everything seemed dark and against me as I struggled to get the sleep out of my eyes and try to function for my day which included an appointment that kept me from sleeping in, a generally too perky for the morning husband and a daughter who was whining that I was doing her hair. One of those days that you want to fast forward. And given the option this morning to hit that fast forward button, I would have. I would have done that thing we used to do where you press and hold and it kicks into high-speed and before you know it, you've zoomed past the part that you wanted to get to in the first place.
I'm glad that life doesn't work that way. Because if it did, I would have missed what turned out to be a most excellent day. You see, in the midst of my negativity... all I could see was being tired and having an appointment. I was neglecting the fact that Kristin and I had made our appointments back to back so that we could see each other. I neglected the coffee plans afterwards. I neglected the fact that I had a good reason for my appointment and that it was something that I could count as accomplished at the end of the day. I neglected that for the last few weeks, Kristin and I have been reconnecting and that today was another chance for some more of that, more growth and happiness that has been sitting there, ready for the choosing.
Sitting at Wild Iris this morning, feeling accomplished and connected, sipping a great cup of coffee, I was glad I didn't fast forward, make excuses or just check out of today....
There is something about a great cup of coffee in general that makes me happy and connected to some of the most important people in my life... the memories of the best coffee I'll ever have with my mom at her house and of growing up, coffee dates with friends and ill-advised but necessary midnight convenience store runs for more.... it's my one of my biggest comfort items.
I think it's the simple things that often bring the most happiness. A chat with a friend, laughter at the ridiculous parts of life, checking items off of your to-do list, and of course, that great cup of coffee. And a choice to simply be in the moment and try to be happy, positive or at least connected to someone or something.