Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Scrap & Music # 13- What Makes You Beautiful

Another reveal is up at the Scrap & Music blog!  This weeks challenge song is from One Direction and the song is "What Makes You Beautiful".  I found this song and this sketch to be perfect for a page about my beautiful Roslyn.  She's at the age where I am learning all over again how to tell her story through my pages and capture who she is accurately.  No longer quite my little girl, she is growing up and finding out who she is each and every day and I want and need to capture that.  It is important to capture it all in a way that honors who she is and how she is growing up right before our very eyes.  We wish we could hold on to each age longer than we can, but we are loving and honoring who she is becoming every day.  A bright, kind, caring, sensitive, driven and focused young lady.  A little lady who is the light of our world.
Thank you so much for stopping by and don't forget to head over to Scrap & Music to see the rest of the design teams work and to add your own!

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Fall Adventures so far... Instagrammed :)

I've said it a million times and I will say it again... Fall is my absolute favorite time of year.  The changing leaves, the crisp in the air, the festivities, the smells and the flavors... it truly is the best.  And every year we fully make the most of it that we can.

So far this fall we have...

Drank copius amounts of pumpkin spice flavored beverages.
Nerded out over a great AZ band, Jared and the Mill at the CD release party in September.
Found fall by celebrating the first day of fall with our best friends.
Spent all day everyday loving on this girl and watching her grow and thrive.
Went to see FUN in concert with more of our best friends. :)
Saw the Jimmy Eat World again (my TENTH show!) with our best friends.

I spent time in Payson and saw how remembered, honored, and loved my mother was and still is.  I survived my first year without her.
 Vivi drew and colored and drew and colored some more.
We've learned how to start standing on our own two feet!
We went to the fair to see our first little artist's work.
We made Drew's dream come true by traveling to California to see his favorite band, the Winery Dogs in concert...

where this happened...
Drew met and got a picture with one of his musical heroes.
Then we went to Disneyland for a day together!

Which was followed by a family adventure to Williams to ride the Pumpkin Patch Train!
The "Numbo" (Dumbo) obsession took hold of Vivi.
And I had a lot of fun shenanigans with this beautiful lady.
Vivi decided lower level living was not her speed any more and decided to move it on up... the stairs BY HERSELF!
Roslyn took part of her first flag ceremony at school as a member of student council!  So proud of our dedicated, responsible, focused and driven young girl!
We went to the first of two pumpkin farms and had a great day together!

 We discovered a new favorite restaurant in Chino Valley.
And I might have gotten in a battle of wills with an almost two year old over whether or not an entire carton of frosted sugar cookies is appropriate or not.  I won.  But I did suffer.
And do you want to know what the best part is?  It's not over yet!  We still have so many adventures coming up... Disneyland with the family and my dad this week, Halloween, Vivi's Birthday and Thanksgiving!  I am soaking up every single second of it, and I hope you are too.  Happy Fall! <3

Monday, September 30, 2013

Scrap & Music Sketch #11- Sweet Child O' Mine

Another Scrap and Music post is up over at Scrap & Music! This weeks song was one of my personal favorites- Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns N' Roses.  This song has always been a favorite to sing to Roslyn since she was born, so of course I had to feature my beautiful girl in this layout.
Thank you so much for looking and make sure you head on over to Scrap & Music and check out the beautiful work the DT posted!

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Scrap & Music Sketch #10- Time of Your Life

Another Scrap & Music Sketch is up!  This sketch was my favorite so far and I have always loved this song.
Check out the rest of the design team layouts for Sketch #10- such beautiful layouts!

Friday, August 30, 2013

"You should be fine. I love you... bye bye."

Those were the last words that my mom said to me... left in a message in voicemail shortly before she died.

I believe my Mom with all my heart.  I will be fine.  But what is different now, is my new definition of "fine".  It doesn't mean what it used to for me anymore.  And some days I want to cry out to wherever she may be "I'm not fine!  I can't be fine... not without you!" Yesterday was one of those days.  A day filled with tears in private moments and blinking them back to carry on when faced with other people and the daily tasks of my life.  I wanted to just slink away into some dark space.  A place that matched the reality of my own mind that was dwelling in those darkest of places.  Shut it all out. Make it all go away and sink slowly into my own pain, longing and sorrow.

Naturally- I cried out in the only way that I knew how to and posted on facebook.  I didn't want to speak to anyone directly or in person, but I needed someone, anyone, to know that I was hurting.  And the love that poured forth?  Nothing short of a miraculous and beautiful gift.  Words that when I read them, make me cry tears of gratitude and joy.  I am not alone.  People understand.  And people care enough to take time out of their days to say something.  And what was said?  I can't even begin to convey the power and the beauty of the words.  They carried me through, holding my hand to pull me out of the dark and scary places that I sometimes travel to.

I glanced in the mirror before leaving the house today and was struck to see my mom staring back at me.  Guiding me.  Letting me know she is with me always.  I carry her, her legacy, her love and her being within myself.  I'm not alone.  I can do this, and I will be fine.  Because she taught me how to be.

""Everyday I become a little more like my mother… and I couldn’t be prouder"

Yesterday was a hard day. Today I choose to acknowledge her strength and wisdom that she instilled in me and carry on and upwards knowing I am not alone.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Scrap & Music #9- I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

So excited to share a new Scrap & Music layout with you.  The song this time was U2s I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For.  I chose the lyrics "only to be with you" to be the title of my page for this picture of Vivi and Drew.

Thank you so much for looking! :)

Saturday, August 24, 2013

be soft

Lately I've noticed a trend, especially amongst women, of having to appear hard, bad ass, a take no shit type of person.  I am no stranger to these feelings and the desire to be every one of those things.  Life throws us curveballs.  We go through hell and back again and we desire to never, ever go back there.  We build up walls that we try to believe is our strength, when in reality is a fortress of all of those feelings of vulnerability and insecurity, hurt and sorrow that we are desperate to find relief from.

I've learned through my own painful experiences that those times where I was hard, I was "strong" and stoic, a bad ass who didn't take any shit from anyone I was little more than a lost, confused and wounded person running away and hiding from everything that I needed to face.  In my "strength" I damaged myself, my relationships and my well being in order to protect myself.  I was locked up in the walls of everything that I was hiding from and I was being who I now know that I never want to be.

Yes, we have to forge ahead and be strong when life spins madly out of control.  But I think that what is really strong is to be soft.  Be open.  Be vulnerable.  Because until we face our world head on and with an open mind and heart, we haven't begun to heal.  

I'll leave you with this that says it better than I ever could.

Friday, August 16, 2013

the energy you bring...

A couple of years ago I was watching Oprah (yes, I miss her show!) and she had a guest on, Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor who had given her a sign for her space.  When I heard the words, I knew I wanted one in my home too.  So I made one today.  This is so truly important in any space.  Take responsibility for the energy you bring. This will be a good daily reminder for my family.
Thanks for stopping by today! :)

Monday, August 12, 2013

Scrap & Music #8- A Thousand Years

I am so excited to share my first layout for the Scrap & Music design team!  You can find the sketch and the song for challenge #8 here.

The song inspiration is from Christina Perri's 'A Thousand Years'.  I loved the line that goes "Time stands still... beauty in all she is" so I used that for my title of this layout of Vivi.
Supplies used: Cosmo Cricket patterned paper and diecut tags, My Mind's Eye chipboard, Little Yellow Bicycle crocheted flowers, American Crafts thickers, Doodlebug alphabet stickers, Michael's paper roses, Stickles, hand-dyed Wilton paper doilies, embroidery floss, Martha Stewart paper punches, vintage GirlScouts song book page.

Thank you so much for stopping my blog today! :)

Thursday, August 8, 2013

on friendship...

Something that has been on my mind a lot lately is friendship.  Specifically, the friendships that I have with other women in life.

Friendship has not always been a smooth road for me in my life.  Like in love, I fall hard for people, I fall completely, I would do anything for people and I have been hurt by friendships as painfully as a hurt from a lover.

I've lashed out, blocked out and pushed away the people that I have needed the most in my life.  Because it's scary for me to need people and at the end of the day, it's always been hard for me to believe that I could be wanted by somebody else, not for what I can give, but for who I am.  I haven't always known what to do with the very thing I need and believe in the most, a friend who truly does love at all times.

This last year, I would not have survived if it were not for the friends that I have.  An amazing circle of women who uplift, inspire and drive me to be a better person.  They also have helped me hold it together when I thought I would surely fall apart, they have helped me believe in myself, they saw value in me when I could not see it in myself.

Most importantly, they have let me know that I am not alone in this world.  I have friends by my side who will catch me when I fall or let me fall safely into the comfort of their loving arms. Because sometimes we need to fall apart.  But we need a safe place to do so. And I have my safe places.  So many people who I can turn to.  From friendships of almost twenty years, to friends I have never actually met- to the ones I see almost daily to the ones who I may never even meet... I am surrounded with the strength, love, compassion, nurturing and inspiration that only women can provide for other women.  These women are my soul mates.  My sisters.  Life would not be complete without them and I am so very grateful for each and every one of them.

I am so, so grateful that I am not alone.